Damn Psychologist
by POP-BubbleGum-POP
Summary: Since he came back…he had asked her out. She had become his girlfriend and she was happy. Far too happy. Sasuke was beginning to worry, and that's when he decided to make an appointment for his girlfriend with a psychologist.


**A/N**

**Hey PEOPLEESS!**

**This is just a poopie fic I decided to write when I was bored.**

**Disclaimer- No i don't own Naruto cuz if I did Sakura wouldn't be a weak bitch that we all love.**

**WARNING!- This was written to make you LAUGH...so don't expects anythign supaa-dupaa professional :)**

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Sakura stalked inside the room as her name was called. She immediately glared at the man standing in front of the chair which she knew, she was supposed to sit on.

'So Haruno-chan…you understand why you're here?" The psychologist asked and calmly gestured to the chair.

Sakura sighed and sat in front of him, her arms crossed.

'Of course I don't!' Sakura flipped her hair to the side and rolled her eyes. 'I mean, what the hell? I totally don't need to be here!' She growled.

' Okay Haruno-chan I guess we can just skip this part.' The white haired man sighed and grabbed a paper and a pen.

'Yes! Yes. We can skip all this!" Sakura exclaimed. 'Stupid Sasuke-kun…I can't believe he did this to me!'

"Huh…I am sure that Uchiha-san did it because he cares about you. He just wanted to make sure you are…huh okay.'

'Aw…Sasuke-kun cares for me…hey-WAIT A SECOND!' Sakura jumped up and glared at the doctor, 'Did you just call me mental retard?'

"No! Of course I didn't.' He grinned and handed her the blank sheet and a pen. 'Now…Haruno-chan this I pretty simple. You just have to write the name of four of your closest friends.'

'Fine!' She glared at the paper for a couple of seconds and when she realized that she was being watched she quickly looked up and glared at the doctor instead.

'Okay…I'm not looking!' He swung around and stared outside the window.

'Tsk…weirdo.' She sat back down and started to write mentally cursing a certain Sasuke for making her come to that place.

_Flash-back on:_

"…_And like, I really don't understand why my pink hair stands out so much-" Sasuke sighed as he blocked Sakura's voice and concentrated on her angelic face._

_Since he came back…he had asked her out. She had become his girlfriend and she was happy._

_Far too happy._

_Sasuke was beginning to worry, and that's when he decided to make an appointment for his girlfriend with a psychologist ._

What would he do next? Send her to a mental hospital?

_**Ino-pig**_

_**Hinata-chan**_

_**Naruto **_

_**Sasuke-kun **_

'Okay…I finished. What now?' She said lazily.

'Simple stuff…just tell me everything about them.'

Sakura broke into a laughing attack. "Yeah…like I would tell a _stranger _like you about my li-'

'You know…once Sasuke had to do this…you were on the list. I still remember what he sai-'

Sakura's eyes widened. _Opportunity to find what Sasuke-kun thinks about me! Must not lose it!_

'Huh…Ino is just like, such a freaking pig! And it's really creepy 'cause like she keeps copying everything I do!'

'Like what? You need to give as many details as possible.' The psychologist sat down on his chair and leaned back resting his arms on the table in front of him.

'Well…okay. Like! When I started to like Sasuke-kun she also did! I mean…I know it's not very original since he like, has a fan club and like he's so freaking hot…" Sakura smirked. 'Oh that sexy ass…"

"Sakura-chan…you're getting out of subject."

"Oh…right hm Ino-pig…and then I decided to act so damn cool…'cause I'm cool. So, I cut my hair! In a like really cool dramatic way!"

'Yes…and?'

'And then she comes with all her glory and does the same! She cuts her hair! I mean what the fuck! If she wants to totally awesome like me she could-" Sakura stopped and stroked her own chin. " I don't know, be original and cut something else like one of her boobs!'

The doctor sighed and made some notes about what Sakura was saying. "Yes,continue."

' Yeah and then Sasuke left so I figured that I needed some kind of distraction and I decided to train to be a medical ninja …'cause I figured medical ninja get to see all those sexy ninja bod-"

"Sakura."

"Oh sorry. And then Ino-pig decided to copy me and become one as well!' Sakura rolled her eyes and checked her nails.

" Oh…and what about Hinata." The doctor made some more notes and looked up waiting for Sakura to start talking again.

"Oh her. She is REALLY intimidating."

"Oh…why is that?"

"Duh? Haven't you seen her yet?"

"Hm…yes but- I "

"Ugh…duh? Her watermelons! "

"Her water- Sakura!"

"It's not like you haven't noticed! Honestly I was scared when she came for a sleep over!" Sakura looked down to her chest. "My babies aren't exactly big but when I stood next to her it was like- watermelons versus grapes!'

The man sitting across her anime sweat dropped. "I-is that all?"

"Oh and she has this obsession with Naruto…" Sakura said flatly.

"What do you mean when you say obsession?"

"Oh I mean a voodoo doll called Naru-kun that I found in her house."

The doctor arched his eyebrows. "Tell her to come here please."

" Yes…yes of course. Are we finished yet?" Sakura yawned loudly.

"No. You still need to tell me about Naruto and Sasuke."

"Ugh…Okay Naruto is like…totally brain dead."The pink haired girl rolled her eyes as she pictured Naruto eating ramen.

" Anything else?"

"Ah. The bastard kissed my Sasuke-kun when we were twelve." Sakura barked angrily.

"Is he-'

"Gay ? Oh no he's bi…you see he can't decide between Hinata-chan and MY Sasuke-kun.'

" Okay…" The doctor that was slowly getting scared of the medical ninja cleared his throat. "No what about Sa-"

"MY Sasuke." Sakura quickly corrected.

" Yes . Of course, _your _Sasuke-kun."

"Oh, he's like hot. But there's so many stuff I don't understand!"

"Like what, Haruno-chan?"

"Like how can his hair look like a chicken butt ! And why does he have such a bad sense of fashion!" Sakura waved her hands in the air.

"O-okay."

"…and why does he like tomatoes so much? I mean! Isn't it weird?"

"Yes, yes very weird." He murmured.

" Okay…Are we finished?" Sakura took a deep breath .

" Yes. Uchiha-san you may come in please." The doctor said and stood up.

Sasuke waltzed in the room and found himself scared as he felt the dark aura around Sakura .

"Okay…bring her back next week." The old men gently pushed Sakura toward Sasuke.

As soon as they were out of that building Sasuke grabbed Sakura by her waist receiving some dirty looks from the girl.

"Sasuke-kun! I can't believe-" She started but Sasuke cut her off.

"Why do I have a bad sense of fashion?"

"You heard all of it?" Sakura's eyes widened in horror.

"Aah…even the bit about the watermelons versus grapes." He mumbled.

Sakura face turned slightly pink.

" It's okay I like your grapes."

" Wh-PERV!"

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**Don't we just love grapes?**

**Hm?**

**No I'm not a pervet!**

**Well! Review if you enjoyed it !**


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